somewhere in-between;; [Ody/open]

[⋆Ravɛn]

t o r t u g a

While the thunderstorm had long since passed, the smell of rain still lingered. Beads of moisture clung to the tall stalks of grass that swayed gently in the wind, and far above, stars bloated the inky black sky. The clouds had shifted just enough to allow pale beams of moonlight through, which illuminated the meadow so that the stalks seemed to shine. Somewhere far in the distance, a coyote called, searching for her pups who had fled in the midst of the storm. 

Dry as though he'd been in the dens, Tortuga had been unable to sleep. The rolling thunder and flashes of lightening had driven him to his feet, and he'd carefully picked his way through the dens, cautious of disturbing his mate, or Dresna, the only one of his offspring who'd remained in Irrsin. She'd been distant lately, much like her mother, slipping off when she thought no one noticed. Tortuga nearly always did, although he never stopped her, and he never alerted Kasimira to Dresna's disappearances. She was grown now, and although he was her father, he would not interfere unless she put the pack at risk. Kasimira, however, was another story. He hadn't forgotten how distant she'd been many moons ago, when they'd met again by the falls. Her coolness still remained to an extent, and it had irked him enough to drive him into the clutches of a certain silvery she-wolf. But that was something the Irrsin alpha male was not proud of, so he forcefully shoved the thought to the back of his mind. 

As it was, Tortuga sat nestled in the shorter stalks of the grass that grew along the stream bank, very near to one of the borders. The forest was just across the stream, dark and gloomy and teeming with life. Occasionally a hare would dart from the underbrush and freeze at the sight of him, but Tortuga did not bother them. His appetite was nowhere to be found, and his thoughts were heavy.

The moonlight shone directly upon him, making the tips of his thick ivory pelt shine silver. How long he had sat here after the storm had subsided, he did not know. He could still see the clouds receding past the distant mountains if he squinted his lovely blue eyes hard enough. For a moment he considered crossing the border, disappearing into the night to find a companion. Not necessarily a companion like his last fling had been,  but just someone to talk to. If he was being honest with himself, he was lonely in this home that did not feel like a home. Irrsin had flourished again, but so many hadn't returned, and that still weighed on his conscious. He had a sinking suspicion that it was also why Kasimira was so aloof. He still loved her dearly, and he had never once intertained any thoughts of parting from her, but it was difficult to act like his usual self when a darkness had nipped at his heart for so long. He told himself that it was not his fault, but some nights he still woke from nightmares filled with ash and soot, the names of his lost offspring on his panting tongue. Would he ever recover from it? 

Heaving a sigh, Tortuga lowered his head to gaze at his reflection in the clear, still surface of the water. He'd gained back all of the weight that stress had caused him to loose, his bulky muscles stretched taut beneath his bright white fur. By all means, he looked much the same as his old self, powerful and masculine all at once. The mischievous glint still shone in his eye, less prominent but certainly there. 

So then why does everything feel different?

WORDS: 624 || TAGGED: Ὀδύσσεια♐

Notes: So so so excited <3

template by Margie @ Adoxography v2

[Ὀδύσσεια♐]

Adali

---

It was too often that she slipped away in the night, as if called to by the skies of painted starlight. Even with the scattered remains of the pack the dens were crowded, musty, foreboding. And even after the downpour and the booming of thunder that should have warded any meek soul from the open skies it was somehow more welcoming than cowering and shivering in the corners under the earth. She had left long before the Irrsin alpha had risen, yet if anyone were to look they might not have noticed one small, missing figure besides his. They spared her no more thought than they did a single drop of rain.

The female skirted along the stream, slender paws betraying her path as they left a dusting of prints on the muddy bank. If one were to follow the trail they would find she had mostly accomplished no more than a partial circle around the borders. The she-wolf wasn't a sight to send anyone trembling in her wake, and certainly not enough to ward off intruders in her silent patrol. She was small, lean, by some accounts too thin with a backbone as tough as a rotting twig. But it wasn't so much that she was policing the lands as she was trying to escape them, if even only in her mind. Maddox hadn't made an appearance in many days. It wasn't a rare thing, though, and in these times of aloneness Adali was left mostly by herself. Often times spindly limbs would carry her on extended chases, spurting after hares and rabbit, small birds and gophers. Almost always by herself, and almost never for herself. She was always the last to eat at pack kills, yet what she caught on her own too often ended up at the paws of her alphess. This was too much a habit of the sklavin; always seeking favor with Kasimira at every opportunity, even if it meant forsaking her own stomach. Today, however, was a day she felt bold enough to catch and keep what she found.

But Adali had found nothing and in the haze of rising mists and soaked in a bright coat, she looked much the defeated hunter. While the she-wolf had not dared cross the border without Maddox there to coax her away, she had made quite the tumble through brush and shrubs and dirt. Her undersides were caked in mud and the fur along her neck and sides was clumped in unattractive globs. She didn't want to go back to the dens looking akin to something half-dead, too eager to impress her queen at every chance she got. Kasimira wouldn't want her personal slave looking like last week's kill. At some point the female ends up trotting through the stream, effectively washing her paws and legs but not the mess that covered the rest of her. If only a figure of silvery white hadn't jarred her from the task she might have plunged straight into the shallow currents.

Tortuga was seated on the other side and up a ways, looking much the regal ruler that would have done a more effective job of warding off strangers from these borders. Not that Adali had really been trying, but she didn't think she made a show of strength to anyone that might have been watching from the other side. Her ambling stride had been mostly relaxed until this point, but the moment her dominor comes into view a switch seems to flip. The she-wolf immediately finds herself closer to the waters and her ears sink bank, tail hiding between her legs. But Adali wasn't so much afraid as she maybe should have been. She always had viewed the brute as more the level-headed alpha of the two. Where Tortuga was larger, Kasimira somehow had a way of making anyone tremble beneath her gaze. She knew the male could have, too, if he'd wanted to, but he always seemed ruled less by the raging inferno of fire that Adali could swear stormed within Kasimira.

She pauses, suddenly unsure and insecure with herself or whether or not it might be right to disturb him or be on her way. He looked relaxed in his position with a wall of fog at his back. In the end Adali decides the chance of him attacking her for her sudden appearance is nil enough to remain there. Maybe she found herself alone too often but she was not adverse to the company. Besides, the mud clinging to her coat was an irritant and she wished nothing more than to be rid of it.

With a cautious yet fleeting eye towards her dominor she splashes into the shallows, rolling her side and back against the gravely bed of the stream. It's shallow enough for this and the current swift enough to adequately dispatch the dirt and twigs downstream. In her effort to clean herself it occurs to Adali it isn't unlike the time Tortuga had brought her back from Auktion Rock, advising that she should wash her soiled coat before Kasimira could see it. She had since developed a habit of never returning to the dens in a mess. Unfortunately, nobody in the pack had prodded her into a habit of speaking and when she eventually sits up, still in the midst of the water, she says nothing. Even her gaze has shifted away towards the forest on the other side, as if she is afraid to look to him.

---

TAG: ⋆Ravɛn
COUNT: 915
NOTE: Excited as well! I missed my girl.

[⋆Ravɛn]

t o r t u g a

It was the sound of a splash that brought Tortuga out of his deep reverie, ears flattening against his skull as he slowly turned his head. It was the only indication that he’d been caught off guard; otherwise he was still, vivid blue eyes searching for the source of the noise. He had come here in hopes to be alone, to sort out his thoughts, and if Kasimira had followed, he wasn’t sure how he would receive her. He was warring with himself, and the causalities that might be caused were unknown. But instead of silky black fur, his eyes landed on pure white, and his thoughts were set a-whirl once again. Dresna? was his first thought, sneaking out again perhaps, but then the she-wolf emerged dripping, and a flash of eyes like molten gold peered out at him from the delicate face.

Adali. It had been so long since he’d truly stopped to speak with her for an extended period of time without having to worry what Kasimira would think. His mate was a fierce lover, and despite the fact that Adali was a sklavin, Kasimira had always cast a disdainful eye on his relations with the snowy she-wolf. Truly Adali was pretty, if not a bit on the lithe side, and more obedient than any other sklavin he’d ever encountered. She was soft spoken and sweet, so unlike the brazen fire that raged beneath Kasimira’s skin. And even still, although she’d spotted him, she did not approach. She was respectful of his space, and perhaps that was why his irritation at the presence of another melted away. The loneliness inside of him reared suddenly, crashing like waves beneath his pelt, swirling through his bones. He clenched his teeth hard against it, trying to quell it even as he longed for company. Although he trusted Adali – and suddenly he realized that he did, strangely – he could not let her see him so weak. He was her alpha still, and yet…and yet tonight he didn’t feel like pulling rank. He felt like behaving as if he were a normal freior again, with no obligations to weigh on his shoulders. Those troubles, those responsibilities, they could wait until the morning.

”Come here, Adali,” he said, his deep rumbling voice breaking the silence. He watched her for a moment, before letting a slow smile spread across his muzzle. ”Sit with me for a while.”

He glanced back towards the water, no trace of a command in his voice. Perhaps she, trained to respect her dominors, would see it as such…but truthfully if she turned and walked away from him, he would not punish her. He was offering a choice, small and subtle but present nonetheless. How many times had she been given a choice in her life, he wondered? Had she ever? And then suddenly he remembered why she’d be a bit scarcer these last few moons, and he glanced at her slyly out of the corner of his eye.

”Unless, of course, you’re off to meet that brute of yours. Then by all means, I’ll keep your secrets.” This was followed by a wink that wasn’t entirely innocent, but it was his nature to flirt. He watched her then, waiting to see what she would do, amusement written on his face. He could remember the day he’d learned of Maddox, accompanied by Kasimira’s rage. Adali had been sneaking off to meet him, and miraculously, Kasimira hadn’t maimed her when she discovered the two. Instead she’d granted the male visiting rights, an act that had stunned Tortuga, and even allowed him to hunt with the pack. Tortuga hadn’t been too fond of the brute, likely due to their similarities – both masculine, both mischievous, and both possessive. Tortuga had seen the way he looked at Adali; he loved her, and he’d even been stupid enough to brave Kasimira’s testy wrath for her. So whenever the alpha had seen the two wandering about the meadows, or slipping away in the forest, he had turned a blind eye to it. It seemed as if he’d been turning a blind eye to quite a lot in the pack, actually, but Kasimira was strict enough for the both of them. The pack didn’t need him following behind her, dishing out punishments. So he didn’t.

Still, he was torn between allowing Adali her freedom with Maddox and the possession that whispered for him to forbid it. While the female sklavins belonged to him in the way that they also belonged to Kasimira, a slave to their dominant masters, they did not belong to him physically. He had met alpha males in packs who behaved as if they owned a harem, breeding with not only their dominant mate, but the others as well. All females within the pack were theirs, in their opinions, and they were eager to impregnate even sklavins as long as they could produce healthy, strong pups. Tortuga had never considered it, not even jokingly, for surely Kasimira would have sooner killed him than allowed him to touch any of the other females. There was a deeper more primal part of him that urged him to protect, to claim…and then he shook his head as if to chase away the thoughts. Had Adali seen it in his eyes, he wondered? If she had, he hoped that she hadn’t identified it. He would never force her away from Maddox as long as Kasimira didn’t forbid their relations, and he did not intend to scare her into thinking he would try to take her. Realizing that the smile had faded from his face, he looked from the grass at his side to the forest, and then back to her, the question clear in his eyes.

WORDS: 957 || TAGGED: Ὀδύσσεια♐

Notes:

template by Margie @ Adoxography v2

[Ὀδύσσεια♐]

Adali

---

That deep, rumbling voice broke the silence in a way that might have made Adali jump from her own pelt if it had been more demanding. Her ears are the first to raise and whip around, just as they were quick to fall back the moment her head turns towards him once more. He tells her to come to him, sit with him, and strangely enough a deep shiver briefly shakes her small frame. The she-wolf can't discern whether it was because of the freezing waters or maybe that she was suddenly swept with a moment of fear for this other master. Or, perhaps, because nobody in the pack ever sought out her company. Nobody asked her to sit with them, talk with them, spend any time with them. It was not so much that she minded his request as it was that she was taken aback by it, perplexed by it.

It takes the she-wolf a long time to find her paws and no sooner was she on all fours again was Tortuga speaking to her, regarding her, not shooing her away. His wink, his words, what he was implying sends the skin under her bright coat aflame despite the icy stream that soaked her body. And quite suddenly the female is all forms of flustered and embarrassed. It was as if the flames of the fire long past was licking at her tail again, and she was not so sure what to make of it. Those bright eyes of golden amber dash about the area in a frantic sort of way, as if maybe she'd been caught in the act. But she hadn't, because Maddox was not around the borders waiting for her as far as Adali was aware. The thought of him sends a desperate ache through her heart, adds to the heat that battles the damp air. She wished he were there. She missed him. She wanted him always near. He wasn't.

With tentative steps that wouldn't have scratched the most fragile of ice Adali slinks forward on his command. Not that it was a command, really, but so used to following orders she was that she didn't notice the choice presented to her when it was so obviously there. And then there was the very fact that she had no desire to slip away. Maddox was not around and no other soul was there to beckon her. Most days waiting on the rogue brute hovering on the borders were spent huddled under a bush somewhere or hunting for her alphess in every effort to gain her favor. Often the latter was in vain but it felt strange to lax from this routine.

The female comes to sit by the alpha but not so close as to crowd him or herself. There's still a primal fear singeing her veins at the proximity of a dominor; still that expectation of an attack lingering at the back of her mind. She never tried but if she had it would have been easy to recall her days before Irrsin, before Auktion Rock, before Tortuga had found her, at the mercy of a haughty male constantly chasing tail with teeth and testosterone. Adali was lucky to have avoided the attentions if only she realized it, mostly in thanks to the efforts of her mother who'd been a master of curving his focus. Her mother had known the timid young wolf wouldn't have had the nerve to fight back against an advance such as that; might not even have realized or given thought how taboo it might have been. Tortuga had never raised his voice or lashed a tooth or claw at her, never chased her. He was entirely the opposite of her previous dominor, entirely the opposite of his own mate, not ruled with aggression. So much so that there was a prominent hint of comfort at his presence that battled her fear, if she had allowed herself to catch it. And perhaps this is why she somehow manages to keep mostly upright now rather than belly flat to the earth. If she were perceptive enough of herself she might have marveled at how she did not cower so fiercely near him.

Adali watches Tortuga in silence with no denial or affirmation at his sly mention of Maddox. It's a brief thing though, her eyes darting to the waters, his face and back again before lingering. There's something storming through his mind but so oblivious to the workings of it was the sklavin that she couldn't identify what it was. And when the brute at last turned his gaze and focused on her the she-wolf was just as quick to skip her own to the shoreline as if he had caught her doing something forbidden. She misses the question lingering in his eyes and even if she hadn't, it was no guarantee that she would have understood what was there.

It seemed an eternity that silence stretched on between them. Adali was completely stilled where she sat, seeming at surprising ease in his presence yet awfully confused. She couldn't help but wonder over why he was here, on the borders, alone after a brutal thunder storm. The dens would have been a more inviting place to spend this chilly, damp, dank night. It took far longer than it should have, but when she finally mustered the courage to form words it was something she immediately regretted. "Are you okay?" She was quick to realize it was none of her concern nor her place and instantly her frame shrinks an inch or two, downward under his shadow.

---

TAG: ⋆Ravɛn
COUNT: 937
NOTE:

[⋆Ravɛn]

Tortuga

---

There was a long moment of silence where neither of the ivory-pelted wolves moved, watching each other like two statues. Tortuga began to question himself – did she fear him? Did he overstep? – when suddenly Adali lurched forward, slinking towards him and depositing herself a respectable distance away from him. He watched her, amused as she quickly averted her gaze from his own. By no means did he intend to insult her or make fun of her for her tentativeness; he understood that it was well founded, and he had a sneaking suspicion that there was a dark past behind her submissive behavior. Technically she was behaving as she should, and Adali clearly knew her place well…but Tortuga had not been a dominor all of his life. In fact, he’d never considered the lifestyle before he met Kasimira. A freior, while still higher ranked than a sklavin simply due to their freedom, typically didn’t make a habit of harassing the lesser wolves like dominors did. It still turned his stomach sometimes to see a wolf cower at his paws. He could never bring himself to be cruel, even after so many months of reigning beside Kasimira. He could not fathom hurting someone, hurting Adali, just because he felt like it.

"Are you okay?"

Glancing over sharply, Tortuga watched as she cringed beneath him, his frown deepening. Did she think he’d berate or attack her over a question? Perhaps another dominor might think it out of line, but many times Tortuga had found himself joking with Zy, or conversing politely with sklavins. Respect, he had found, worked just as well as fear, sometimes even better. For a moment he imagined that it was him in Adali’s position, trembling beneath the gaze of another, and his lip switched as if longing to pull upwards into a snarl. He refrained, not wishing to make Adali feel as if she had done something wrong…but the thought was certainly unpleasant. He was nowhere near close to giving up his position and joining the rebellion to free slaves – he had to think about Dresna, and setting a good example for Irrsin’s future ruler. And yet still, it tugged at his consciousness to see a living breathing example of what a life of slavery could do.

”I’m fine,” he said, the words a reflex, and then he caught himself and laughed. It was low and gravelly, rumbling from deep in his head as he shook his head. ”I don’t know, truly. I couldn’t sleep with the storm, and then my thoughts, they were…” he paused, turning to look at her, briefly hesitating before he uttered the final word. ”…suffocating.”
It weighed on him all over again, almost like a physical presence pushing between his shoulders, trying to drive him down. He heaved a deep sigh, imagining himself shaking the problems off, forcing his muscular body to relax. A cloud passed by overheard, briefly concealing the moon and throwing the pair into darkness. He watched the reflection of the cloud in the stream, tracking it with his eyes as it moved, inch by inch, away from the moon. The rays caught them again then, and he turned to admire Adali’s pelt. There had been a few months when she’d reminded him of his mother, so fragile and elegant at the same time…but no more. Now, he thought of her as who she was, and no one else. She was unlike anyone he’d ever met before, the obedience ingrained so deeply within her that Tortuga wondered if she would survive without it.

”And what about you, little Adali?” He asked, shifting so that he was closer, the very tips of his fur brushing against hers just barely. He moved slowly, not meaning to startle her, but instead wanting to destroy some of the barriers that stood between him. He wanted her to understand that he wasn’t going to suddenly take a chunk out of her flesh, or snarl at her for something she said. ”What is it that brings you out here so late?”

He gazed at her with clear unfeigned interest in his eyes. He wasn’t asking because it was polite, or because he had nothing else to do. He truly wanted to know what it was that drove her to the borders while her packmates slept soundly. Did she have her own battles that she was fighting? His curiosity thoroughly piqued, he waited patiently for her response, all the while keeping his intense gaze on her.

Look at me.

---

NOTES:
WORDS: 751
TAG: Ὀδύσσεια♐

[Ὀδύσσεια♐]

Adali

---

In that swift moment that he turns his sharp gaze on her, the she-wolf's lean muscles jump beneath her pelt. All it took was that small movement to set her on edge, just as all it took to ease the discomfort was the fact that he didn't charge at her for speaking. For a brief moment he pinned her with a frown that only propelled her fear that she had overstepped her boundaries as a sklavin. It was never her place to question a dominor, even if it were brought forth from mere concern for him. But Adali wanted to know what he was thinking. She wanted to know why his eyes swam with a million silent thoughts. She was not expecting him to share them with her.

At first he tells her he's fine; Adali doesn't believe him. His laugh though... his deep, rumbling laugh has her casting her eyes back to him and observing the way it briefly trembles his body. It was not so much laced with humor as it was with tension, exhaustion, confusion. In that moment, when Tortuga started speaking to her Adali was in awe. He only shares little more than a sentence but never had an alpha expressed anything more than power and dominance over her. This... this was a moment of weakness Adali realized too quickly, and while some might have taken advantage over it all the she-wolf could do was watch in wonderment. The look only lingers for a second, however, before she is catching herself and staring fiercely into the waters once more. The space around them gets momentarily darker, as if the skies themselves threaten to douse her fascination and yank her back to the foreboding world she constantly dwells in.

There were times when Adali wished to be free but thrice as many times she did not. This life in the sklavin's roll was all she had ever known and the female wasn't sure she would know the first thing to do with freedom or the open world at her paws. To be thrust from years of servitude, obedience, purpose and into the unknown could be a horrifying thought. The idea of it had only recently been instilled in her mind by a certain brute that always lingered there, but that's where it remained. It was just an idea; another dream or another nightmare like the ones that swept minds while you sleep.

She lingers on what Tortuga had shared with her of his suffocating thoughts. She had not a clue as to what could plague his mind so fiercely as to drive him from the center of his own home. It was his realm, the place he was supposed to feel most welcome. Did dominors suffer as profoundly as others had despite their power? She wants to ask yet despite his lack of hostility the fear ingrained in her entire being prevents her from questioning him further. Besides, her mind reels off course by his own inquiry. Nobody would know it by observing her, however, as the only indication she dare betray was the swerve of an ear and flash of golden eyes towards his own. "I don't know," she breaths and it wasn't a lie. She settled on hunting to calm a pinched stomach, but what drove her from the dens was something embedded deeper than her belly. "I was feeling... suffocated," she reiterates his own choice in words, "I couldn't stay in that darkness any longer." Genuine, torn straight from a place that was rarely visited.

He'd shifted closer to her by now, she realized abruptly, and he hadn't lashed out and sank his teeth in. Adali could not combat the way her body tensed or the heat beneath her otherwise soaked fur. She couldn't decide if she was building up into a panic from a dominor's tender presence and its unknown or if it were a mere reaction from the freezing stream water. He stares at her in some fierce display she can't discern and her own eyes are frozen, locked. It was as if his very gaze commands her to look at him, commands her not to break away because she doesn't have the spine to keep contact. And Adali had never broken an order, not even a silent one. "Why were your thoughts suffocating you?" Again, she cannot figure why the words have left her and her auds pin tight against her skull.

---

TAG: ⋆Ravɛn
COUNT: 741
NOTE:

[⋆Ravɛn]

Tortuga

---

His only reassurance that he hadn’t frightened her was that she didn’t move away. She sat beside him, tense but still, and slowly he allowed himself to relax once more. He felt as if he were dealing with a wild animal instead of a wolf, as if any moment she might bolt away from him. It was funny, in a way, making his lips twist into his familiar mischievous smile. Months ago, when he’d first scooped her up from Auktion Rock, he never would have thought that he’d be sitting beside her, speaking calmly of the things that plagued him. And yet here he was, ears pricked forward to detect the possible approach of others. It would be just his luck if Kasimira stumbled upon them, for she’d surely assume the worst, but he wouldn’t think of that now.

”I don't know. I was feeling... suffocated. I couldn't stay in that darkness any longer." Her words caused a pang of sympathy to rush through him, and he nodded slowly. So she’d felt much like he did, although likely for very different reasons. Surely her life had to be a bit easier now, with that brute of hers always slinking across the border to keep her company and defend her honor. This was thought with a significant amount of wryness, and almost immediately he corrected himself. She still did not have her freedom, and he’d seen her countless times slinking after Kasimira, trying to earn the she-wolf’s favor. It was seemingly a useless gesture, for he saw how nothing changed, except perhaps Adali’s spirits dampening.

She gazed at him then without glancing away, golden eyes boring into azure, and he didn’t dare break the contact. It was flimsy at best, but it was the first time she’d met his gaze for so long without guiltily looking away. It was what he had wanted, after all: acknowledgement. A moment later her muzzle parted and she posed another question. After the way she’d reacted upon asking her last, he assumed that she would not ask another, and indeed her ears had flattened against her skull…but still she did not look away from him, and she didn’t cower this time. Surprised and pleased at once, Tortuga was struck by a sudden fit of honesty.

”Things have been different since the fire,” he said, very quietly. It was almost as if he could feel the flames now, licking at his memory, demolishing everything in its path. His muscles twitched as if to run, but he stayed, still gazing intently at her as he went on. Now that he’d started, it was as if he couldn’t stop. ”The losses were significant, and things never truly recovered. Kasimira…she still grieves for Marzell and Adelina.”

It was the closest he could come to hinting at what was going on with him and his mate. His pride would not let him come straight out with it, but at the same time, he’d be surprised if she hadn’t noticed. ”For the longest time, I considered seeing if she wanted to try again. Pups might lighten the spirits around here, but then I decided I’d be better if I didn't. She’d think I was trying to replace them. I could never forget them, Adali, but what can I do? How do I fix it if I can’t find them, or if they’re dead?”

It was a word he hadn’t dared utter before, not around Kasimira, not around anyone, but it couldn’t be avoided. His questions had been rhetorical. Adali couldn’t answer them anymore than he could, and he sighed, shaking his head back and forth slowly.

”I’ve been different since the fire. I’ve done things that I’m not proud of, and now I fear that things are too rocky to be fully fixed. Iudex knows I’ve tried, but I cannot do what the gods do not will to be.”

There is was, the thought that plagued him so viciously: that he wasn’t meant for this. Kasimira had happened upon him by chance, had taken him as her mate upon a whim, and although he would never doubt her love or her devotion, the disaster had made him reflect on things. What if he wasn’t meant to be happy in this life? He couldn’t shake the feeling that Marzell and Adelina’s fate was his fault, although he had nothing at all to do with the fire. I should have tried harder, he told himself each time he saw the sorrow in Kasimira’s eyes. I should have died trying to save them.

”So that’s what creeps into my head at night and smothers me in my sleep,” he said, a hint of haunting in his voice, and very faintly, longing. For what, he wasn’t sure. All Tortuga knew was that he’d spilled his feelings to Adali, which meant that he’d shown weakness. He’d even come terribly close to admitting his night of wavering loyalty. Smiling coyly, he reached over to nudge her with his ebony nose, very gently.

”Your turn to share.”

---

NOTES:
WORDS: 841
TAG: Ὀδύσσεια♐

[Ὀδύσσεια♐]

Adali

---

Tortuga's words seemed to pour straight from his soul, each admittance shredding her heart to a thousand tiny pieces longing to comfort him. Nobody had entrusted her with their darkest, deepest secrets or thoughts, least of all her own dominors. Even Maddox had shared little of himself thus far. She didn't even know where the rogue was from or what his life before her had entailed. Sometimes she wondered if she hindered his freedom, making him tread into dangerous lands where anything could happen. Sometimes Adali feared Kasimira would entice him across the borders and sick the pack on him when he least expected it and make her watch. It was a wonder in itself he visited as often as he did, let alone at all. Just for someone like her. It was unnatural. Maddox was brave and often times she didn't think she was worth it. Just like she didn't think she was worthy of Tortuga's trust.

As oblivious as Adali could be, the she-wolf was not blind to some things that seemed to have transpired between her dominors. They seemed to interact less, if even more awkwardly. She felt dirty for it, too, like she wasn't supposed to notice these things. Yet how could she not? She spent most of her days slinking after her alphess, just beyond her shadow. Not even Adali was worthy of standing in that. She wanted to tell him he was okay, that she knew but it would get better. She was too afraid of the repercussions to admit she knew something was amiss.

He asked her questions, desperate questions that she had no answer to. As she gazed at him, as still as a frozen statue by the river of emotion rained down on her, Adali's throat felt as parched as the desert sands. She felt constricted, tense, lightheaded if not only for the sorrows brought forth from his story but for her own. "Sometimes you just have to face what crosses your path. There might be fire whichever way you look, but just beyond there is always something better." She was startled by the sound of her own voice, eyes gone a little wider. But what shook her more was her own advice. How many times had she braved those flames and come out on the other side? When she'd been maimed, brutalized, scarred, tossed out like scraps to the vultures of the Rock. Then, dragged far from what she had known by the very one looking at her now. Yet despite the fact that he was a dominor that had swept her further from her family (though they had rid of her anyway), she harbored no spiteful feelings towards him. Still, Adali was struck by the sympathy and empathy that gripped her like a vice.

She didn't think she had helped him; it was difficult seeing the sun when your world was clogged with smoke. A sklavin surely couldn't guide him through the haze. A part of her was ready to shake in her own pelt for fear that he might not like what she had said, or that she had said anything at all. Instead this is combated by a nudge. It's gentle, almost reassuring, and sends a strange jolt from the space that shoots through her body and leaves her frazzled. Share. My turn to share. She wasn't so sure she knew what to say, like the effort of her previous words had drained every ounce of her confidence and energy. If Maddox were there she might have thrown herself into his chest and heaved for breath. But it was Tortuga before her eyes, solid and sturdy despite his mind threatening to become undone. Without cohesive thought she's turning her head and leaning, pressing the top of her skull flush against his ivory shoulder. "I don't want you to hurt."

---

TAG: ⋆Ravɛn
COUNT: 642
NOTE:

[⋆Ravɛn]

Tortuga

---

"I don't want you to hurt."

This, accompanied with her advice from moments before and her head pressed against his shoulder, was what ultimately broke Tortuga’s resolve. Shuddering, he craned his head to gently rest it atop Adali’s, breathing deeply as he considered her words. How many times, he wondered, had she ran through the inferno to emerge victorious on the other side? And while he could certainly see the truth in her words, what did that mean for him? Perhaps he would have to stand his ground as solidly as he could, no matter how bad things became between him and Kasimira. Perhaps he was wrong, and things would improve – maybe that would be his reward waiting on the other side. Or maybe it wouldn’t, but what choice did he have? All he could do was keep trying, keep pushing, until he saw the light at the end of the tunnel. If nothing else, he had to be strong for the pack; he was an alpha, a dominor, and he could not crumble before them. It was his responsibility to lead them through the theoretical flames, like he’d been unable to lead them through the very real ones.

He sat like that for a long while, resting against her as if she could support the weight of his problems, her fur warm and soft where it brushed his. He knew that in the morning he would have to behave like his old self, strong and in control. He could show no sign of weakness to any others, specifically not his family. It still surprised him that he’d caved and admitted so much to her, but he was strangely certain that she wouldn’t betray his secrets. There was the possibility that Kasimira might inquire after him, asking questions that Adali would be tempted to answer…and would she, or would she say nothing in his defense? Either way, he wouldn’t blame her. He’d seen the way Adali looked at Kasimira, so desperate to be accepted and yet never closer to her goal. He pitied her – not because he thought she was pathetic, no. In fact, he admired her repeated attempts and saw it as bravery. He pitied her because he knew how hard it was to win the queen’s favor when you did not have it. Lately, he knew it firsthand.

”It’s silly, isn’t it?” he murmured suddenly, his muzzle close to her ear. ”A sklavin comforting a dominor.” There was no cruelness in his tone, no mocking edge. Instead there was only amusement and a trace of warmth. At the moment, Tortuga didn’t want to think of what this meant for him and Adali, or how it affected their relationship. He only wanted to sit peacefully without feeling guilty or embarrassed, and so he did. In the light of day he assumed things would go back to the way there were; she following in Kasimira’s shadow, and he careful not to show her too much attention under the watchful gaze of the pack. It was irritating, but it was normal.

”I don’t want you to hurt either, you know,” he admitted before his courage left him. ”It’s an odd thing for me to say due to our positions, granted, but it’s true. I’ve tried to cut you a little slack whenever I can afford to.” And he had, truly. He tried to give her the most freedom that he could, which was a ridiculously miniscule amount, but still. He hadn't taken her from Auktion Rock to dump her into a more abusive environment. Those hadn't been his intentions in the least. He could only hope that it counted for something.

”You deserve it.”

---

NOTES:
WORDS: 613
TAG: Ὀδύσσεια♐

[Ὀδύσσεια♐]

Adali

---

She can feel the quake that trembles through his every muscle, every fiber, every inch reverberating into her own. It was an unexpected thing and Adali nearly pulls away from the sudden, brief shudder that wracks him and startles her. Though she isn't sure why it does. She isn't scared of his teeth, she realizes, but something else has her own body trembling. However, before she moves an inch he's holding her closer, head overtop hers and somehow, some way, the sklavin feels in her right place. Perhaps not necessarily so close to her alpha for this was a strange, new thing that confuses her just as it fascinates her. But more over because she was just there, helping where she could even as she doubts what good could come from her presence. He seemed to relish her company, for now, and so she stayed, cherished it.

And despite her insecurities she goes into his touch. Maybe it's a moment of boldness or maybe even a moment of foolishness, but Adali allows herself to mold against the dominor. She doesn't want him to hurt or to bear his burdens alone; and she was sure he felt alone if he were entrusting a lowly creature like herself with these secrets and suffering. For the life of her she couldn't figure out what compelled him to share with her these precious things, and she didn't give it much effort because she didn't want to dwell. But if Adali was sure of one thing in these churning waves of emotion it was that his trust in her wasn't misplaced. Maybe she were worth no more than a speck of dirt but she could still lock away what he had told her this night. Kasimira didn't like talking to her, anyway.

Acceptance wasn't something that the she-wolf was accustomed to, even with Maddox gradually coaxing her from her shell. So the very fact that Tortuga was there, laying out everything that suffocated him in his sleep, was something to marvel. And she did marvel this just as she listened in attentive silence to his words. She felt too warm despite the chill, flustered from the attention.

"Thank you," she suddenly pipes with the squeeze of her eyes. Truly, she harbored no resentment towards Tortuga for taking her farther from her home than she'd ever been; farther from her dear sister. He hadn't known what she'd been forced to abandon, and he hadn't abused her. Despite her often trembling form or the way she skirted around in a desperate and futile attempt to turn invisible, Adali was thankful to be far from the hell he had discovered her in. The she-wolf hadn't been confined to Auktion Rock long, and she still had not a clue how she had ended up there, but her time had been horrendous nonetheless. Her appreciation stretched from the moment he had miraculously picked her out of the mud, the dirt, the crowd. She didn't know if she deserved it like he said she did, but she was grateful not to have been tossed back to the jaws that haunted her sleep. "You don't make me hurt." She thought it was important for him to know that, though she did not think it would ease his burdens and his troubles.

Abruptly Adali is struck with the thought that she would have much rather served this brute than his mate. Kasimira was as hard as stone and could be as cold as ice, even as the sklavin shadowed her in a desperate attempt to gain her favor and acceptance. She had not a clue as to where she had gone wrong; if she should have turned right instead of left somewhere along the way. She wasn't sure she would ever understand the seeming constant and impenetrable wall of resentment, even as she knew it wasn't her place to question it. Kasimira was her queen; she could feel however she wanted about her own sklavin. And Adali didn't voice this thought, for it was taboo, wrong, unacceptable to want Tortuga's company over her queen's.

---

TAG: ⋆Ravɛn
COUNT: 681
NOTE:

[⋆Ravɛn]

Tortuga

---

It was a strange relief when Adali admitted that he didn’t make her hurt. While Tortuga had never intentionally done anything to hurt Adali, he feared that perhaps his actions had caused second-hand pain through Kasimira’s disdain. She had been a gift for his mate, after all, and there were some days when Tortuga wondered if it had been a mistake. Adali was the only sklavin he’d ever personally brought home, and he believed that was what had initially prompted his mate’s irritation towards her. He could still remember the day he’d strode through Auktion Rock, entirely out of his element and considering turning back when he spotted her, cowering and confused. He’d been so formal with her then, struggling to be as cold and commanding as his mate, but that had eventually grown tiresome and he’d returned to his old self.

Even as he sat with her beneath the moon, so close to her that he could hear her breathing, he felt no guilt. He should have, and he knew it – Adali was so sweet and a tad bit naïve, and he knew for a fact that Kasimira would get the wrong idea, and yet he felt nothing but contentedness. It wasn’t as if he intended anything impure, for he would never even dream of putting Adali in that position, or himself for that matter. It was the comfort that he craved, the soft affection that he feared to ask for from anyone else. The idea that he had to be powerful and masculine had been driven into his skull, and he could not shake it even now, but it was nice to rest easy for a moment. The storm had long ago faded away into the distance, the dew beginning to dry beneath his paws. Somewhere far away, an owl cooed. It was so peaceful here, with sunrise still hours away and the spring moving gently.

”What would you do, if you were offered freedom?” He asked her, his deep voice barely even a whisper. It felt odd to ask, to even consider the idea. It was a thought that bothered him after his earlier realization: if she could, would she take the opportunity? It would be all too easy for him to turn a blind eye to her sneaking across the borders with Maddox, and it would be some time before anyone noticed a single sklavin missing. It was a thought that he could never speak aloud, and one that would likely never occur, but he couldn’t help asking. He pulled away just slightly to gaze down at her, although he still sat pressed against her, to show her that there was no cunning twist to his lips, no barbs behind the question. It was all curiosity.

”Would you take it? Or would it be too much?” Such a drastic change in lifestyle had baffled him at first, after all, when he’d gone from a flirtatious loner to a mated alpha, all within the blink of an eye. There had been nights in the very beginning where he had considered leaving, and then Kasimira would shift behind him in her sleep, and he would stay. It had been so long since he’d thought of it, and now he watched Adali, waiting for her reaction with patience. No matter what she admitted, he would not judge her, and he’d consider what she told him solemnly. He was stricken by a sudden need to know her better, for he realized he knew so little about Adali.

---

NOTES:
WORDS: 587
TAG: Ὀδύσσεια♐

[Ὀδύσσεια♐]

Adali

---

Freedom? Adali gazes back at Tortuga as he stares at her and suddenly she is horrified. It's a violent reaction deep within her, bursting forth and twisting her stomach, parching her throat, trembling her under the skin. This isn't displayed as a canvas on her form, instead something that is harbored deep. If he'd noticed anything unusual occurring at all it was probably that her eyes had gone wide and she'd shrunken back from his touch, if even a minuscule amount. Indeed, Adali didn't know what freedom was and so unknown was it that it petrified her perhaps more than the clamping jaws of her former dominor, or the nights laying awake as he dragged her sister and mother away, or the leering stares and invasive touches of the guards at the Rock. So ingrained in her was her role that out of everything else, freedom was a mountain she wasn't sure she could conquer.

And then there was Maddox, the only free wolf she had ever really known. Maddox had turned out alright; healthy, clever, free to do as he pleased and say what he wished. Adali had never had this, and despite all her fear and hesitations and insecurities there was a budding part of her that wished nothing more than to know what he knew. She wanted him to teach her what it meant to escape these chains and she wanted him to show her the world she had never really seen. She wanted to be like him: braver, smarter, conquering the world.

Finally the tensions that were building in her muscles let loose and she shudders against Tortuga. "Please don't ask me that," she breaths. It was almost a plea, begging and she immediately felt ashamed to have said it. He could say and ask her whatever he wanted, after all. For how far she had come from her home, the fires she had braved, the fact she was still breathing and heart still beating despite it all, wasn't enough to prepare her for it. Maybe others in her position would have jumped at the mere idea of escape from their bonds, but Adali didn't know how. If she could just see the path set out before her she would be alright; she knew how to be what she already was.

In that moment Adali didn't know what she should do with herself. The subject made her want to run and hide somewhere deep, dark, alone so nobody could see her. And yet she had rarely felt so secure, wanted, valued outside of her short times with Maddox and never before within the pack. This war rages within her, violent and brutal until she feels exhausted and eventually her rigid frame collapses completely against the brute. She was small, too lean, but even he can't hold her up completely and she soon finds herself on her belly. This isn't so much a cowering thing as it so often was. Her submissive nature had been overwhelmed by everything else and she heaves her breaths, rising slightly with front limbs that suddenly feel too weak.

---

TAG: ⋆Ravɛn
COUNT: 517
NOTE:

[⋆Ravɛn]

Tortuga

---

"Please don't ask me that.”

Something on the water had caught his attention, a leaf that caused a ripple, but something in Adali’s voice made Tortuga turn sharply to face her. She was staring at him, wide-eyed, oddly still. There was the sudden alarming feeling that he had said something horribly wrong, and he didn’t quite know how to deal with it. He sat as still as her, returning her gaze, his mind working too slowly to form a response. And then suddenly she slumped against him, alarming him with the sudden weight before sliding to the ground. Her legs seemed to tremble beneath her as she attempted to rise, and Tortuga stood, alarmed.

”Adali…” It was a strangled word that slipped from his muzzle, and suddenly he was in motion, lurching forward to stand at her side. He felt responsible and so very stupid for asking such a personal question just to satisfy his own selfish curiosity. Reaching down, he briefly considered closing his teeth over her scruff to lift her as if she were a pup, but then he immediately rejected the idea. The feel of teeth against skin might only frighten her, so instead he crouched at her side, a quiet whine of concern slipping almost unnoticed from his maw. Whatever he had done, he’d upset her tremendously, and the realization hit him like a blow to the head. Desperately he tried to think of something to say, but what? Did he move nearer to her, or did she want space?

”I’m sorry, Adali. I should have known, but…” He frowned, shaking his head, a sarcastic laugh rushing from his lips. ”And to think only moments before I said I didn’t want to hurt you. Sometimes I just don’t think.”

He collapsed in the grass beside her, his cerulean eyes full of genuine remorse as he stretched out his neck and laid his head at her paws, his nose a fraction of an inch away from her claws. He gazed up at her wordlessly, not sure how else to console her. He had never laid himself at the feet of a female before; it felt oddly submissive, like a servant kneeling at the feet of a queen, but more than anything Tortuga meant for her to see how truly awful he felt over upsetting her. She had fled the den to escape her demons, just like he had, and in a few simple words he’d brought them back to her. Stupid, he silently chided himself.

There was a long moment where he remained in the grass, and then he peaked up at her again from between his large paws, a small smile spreading across his muzzle. He nudged her toes with the tip of his nose suddenly, almost playfully, trying anything to make her smile again. He wanted to be a sanctuary to her, not another prison.

”Forgive me?” He asked, shuffling forward and lifting his head just slightly until his gaze was level with hers, searching and apologetic.

---

NOTES: blah sorry D; It sucks!
WORDS: 501
TAG: Ὀδύσσεια♐

[Ὀδύσσεια♐]

Adali

---

There's a wheeze rattling and rasping each breath, a heave of the chest with each gulp of air that shakes her body. If Adali could see herself she might have been ashamed by the sight: all gangly limbs and panicked gazes. Her conscious mind perceives Tortuga's movements yet it still comes as a surprise when he's there below her, watching when she manages to lift herself halfway. The whole display of submission and even weakness freezes her to the core. She is startled by his position and its stark contrast to the typical demeanor of a ruler. Never had an alpha lowered themselves before her and she was shocked by how empowering it could be. It uplifts her, strangely, just as it grips her heart. But Adali does not take this and run away with it, does not use it as an advantage. A single tear that she was not aware of somehow escapes the clutches of her eyes and in that moment she was grateful.

Adali's thoughts were in too much of a swirling mess to discern what was flickering in his eyes but somehow through the haze of her fear she notes his smile. The power it holds over her catches her off guard and so does the minuscule tilt of her own lips that battles her trembling limbs. He gazes up at her from between large paws and for a long moment the silent apology fills the stilled air between them. The whole exchange could have remained wordless after that but Adali catches that wholehearted sincerity in his voice when it gently caresses ringing ears. And for a long time she says nothing, only regards him with appreciation, forgiveness, for though what he had said sent her into this vortex she was aware he did not know.

"Yes," she finally says, breathlessly. Exhausted and frazzled all at once, she sinks to the ground completely now. Her frame shakes once more before relaxing, easing enough to meld with the grasses. Always. Because how could she not? He was her alpha, her dominor, in some ways her protector, maybe her friend, and he'd plucked her from hell's jaws and deposited her in a far better place. Maybe the pack didn't acknowledge her, maybe the queen didn't like her, and maybe she'd always be the slave she was born to be, but she was in a far better place because of him. If it weren't for Tortuga it was possible she might have never met Maddox, and that thought alone clenches around her heart and squeezes it; she couldn't imagine life without Maddox. And, perhaps, she couldn't imagine it without Tortuga either.

---

TAG: ⋆Ravɛn
COUNT: 517
NOTE: I loved it <3 Mine's super short sorreh so many feels my brain is dead lmao. I think this can be the end of the thread. uewfhauiwe I loved it so much.