Jan 31, 2014 15:41:16 GMT -5
Post by ⋆Ravɛn on Jan 31, 2014 15:41:16 GMT -5
And I hurt so bad, that I search my skin
For the entry point, where love went in
And ricocheted and bounced around
And left a hole when you walked out
The moon curled into a perfect crescent shape, partially shielded by the clouds. The night sky was full of stars, as if the gods had scooped up handfuls of them and thrown them haphazardly across the heavens. Irrsin was alive beneath the moonlight with new life, the grass almost as vibrant green as it had once been. Slowly, so slowly, a bulky shape tiptoed across the border, then paused.
Matrid was breathless. She had spent so many moons away from her home, sometimes lost, sometimes wandering in a daze. Depression had hit her hard after the fire, and reality had crept away from her. So clearly she could remember the night when flames licked at her paws, when she cried for Kyren but could only watch in helpless terror as a wall of fire rose up between them. She had ran then, unable to fight her instincts as they screamed for her to flee, and afterwards, remembering her cowardice had sickened her. She had been so sick with grief on most of her nights away, desiring to return to Irrsin but not quite knowing how to begin. What if Kyren truly wasn't here? What if the others were gone, like Kasimira and Calliope, the pups? The thoughts had made her stomach cramp with terror. How could she possibly go back and face her home if it was not a home anymore?
That had been her mindset for weeks upon weeks, until finally, Matrid was forced to fight for her life. She had injured herself in her melancholy period, had hurt her paw, and it had come to the point where she either had to pick herself up, or die. Hunting was difficult, but she managed, and slowly she healed physically, as well as mentally. She did not recover from her heartbreak, but she glossed over it, and forced her fears to the very back of her mind.
Now, her paw was as good as new, and Matrid had finally come home. Instead of a charred mess, she found a breathtaking sight. The stream bubbled softly in the background, the grass tickled her paw pads, and if she wasn't mistaken, there was a slender little sapling growing in the distance. Shakily she breathed in, struggling against the memories that threatened to consume her. Her long legs trembled as she moved forward, taking tiny little steps. Familiar scents assaulted her nose, making her heart thrum: Kasimira, thank the gods, Tortuga, Zy, Dresna...then there were some that she did not recognize, reassuring her that Irrsin still thrived. But most notable were the scents that did not come to her, no matter how hard she willed for them to, no matter how deeply she inhaled: Marzell, Adelina, Calliope, and like she had feared all along, Kyren.
How? Eperna, please help me, how do I do this?
She was weak, Matrid knew. She was as green and weak as a suckling pup, but she could not help herself. Irrsin had been the first place that she called home in a very, very long time. The wolves that she had ran with, had slept alongside, had raised were her family, and now half of them were gone. For one wild moment, Matrid considered turning and running. But no; she had seen what she needed to see, smelled what she needed to smell. She could not go back now. And Kasimira...she had always been so good to Matrid. Maybe, just maybe, the alpha would be pleased to see her.
She moved deeper into Irrsin, one itty bitty step at a time, until finally she found herself standing beside the sapling tree. Her thoughts flashed back to months before when a massive oak had stood in the saplings place, and beneath it, she had watched the little balls of fluff that were Marzell and Adelina romp about, Kyren dozing beside her, while tiny little Dresna sat stiffly at her paws. Her heart ached fiercely, and when Matrid tipped her head back, a howl slipped all too easily from between her teeth. It was lengthy and searching, filled with sorrow and pain, hope and longing. She called to anyone in Irrsin who could hear her, she called to the moon above her head and the gods, higher still. She poured all of herself into her keen, until finally her chest burned and she broke off, gulping down air.
Still trembling, Matrid waited.☪Marks of battle, they still feel rawA million pieces of me, on the floorI'm damaged goods, for all to seeNow who would ever wanna be with me?